End of Semester Struggles

I just finished my first Masters critique ever, and I couldn't be more relieved to be done with the project. The last couple of weeks has been pretty tough on me. Now I really know that juggling work and trying to excel in Masters is not an easy feat. Not to mention at least trying to keep a decent social life in that equation.

So as I said, it has been a rough couple of weeks. It got to the point that I almost cried at my office desk when I wasn't even on break. It got to the point that I was weeping over songs because it reminded me of home. It got to the point that video calling with friends became a bawling session. I just broke down. 

There are so many things expected of me, including my own self expectations. 

Without me realizing it, I've been working for about 6 months now, and that poses some higher expectations from my bosses and colleagues. They expect me to be an architect, or at least act like one, when honestly sometimes I'm not even confident with my own colour choices. I still have a lot to learn but it seems that I have to start picking up the pace at this point if I want to continue impressing them. 

With studies, I've never really had a big problem with it. But starting about a year and a half ago, I really started excelling. And so this becomes addictive.

So come this semester, I felt so burnt out, and my grades show for it. It's not that I'm failing subjects or anything, but given my track record from Bachelors, I know I should be doing better.

What's keeping me going though, is the fact that all this will be worth it some day. Working in Australia isn't an opportunity I'm about to give up easily just because I'm tired. And quitting studies is definitely not an option particularly because I know once I've stopped, it'd probably take me a while to warm up to the idea of hitting the studios and have late nights again. 

But you know what, all in all, I know I'm very blessed. Not many people get the opportunities that I have. I know there are a lot of other people out there that would kill to get a scholarship to study abroad, and a lot of are searching for jobs, when I've already secured one while I'm studying. I shouldn't and won't waste what's been given to me. I just have to pick up my game. 

Though for now, I'm just going to give myself the day to take a breather and enjoy some me time because heck, I deserve it.

Here's to the (almost) end of semester.

And here's to a well deserved break in July soon! I can't wait.